Widows and Widowers

Pictured is my granddaughter, Emily, at one year old, waiting for her appointment with her chiropractor. Chiropractor? Yes, she has been going to a chiropractor since she was an infant. Reading her expression, I’m unsure of what is happening inside her. It could be fear, anxiety, or concern for her mom, [...]

When a widower finds a new love interest and the opportunity for her to visit the home arises, the question of what to do about pictures of his late wife and other reflections of her in the home occurs, too. Jasmine had a refined artistic touch that flowed from her Japanese [...]

Whether or not you are a man of faith, you are probably familiar with the most well-known verse in the Bible. "John 3:16" signs appear in the end zones of NFL football games. One could argue that the second most well-known verse is Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, [...]

Why am I feeling so emotional? I am watching a video of Iam Tongi's duet with James Blunt from American Idol, singing Blunt's song "Monsters." Watching it live brought me to tears along with everyone else . . . and it is bringing me to tears again. Three months ago, I [...]

When the doctor said, "She will never regain consciousness," it felt like a punch in the gut! I never expected to hear those words. That meant life would never be the same. That also meant I would never be the same. I dreaded thinking about how life would change, but I was unaware [...]

Jasmine was first admitted to the hospital at the height of the COVID pandemic and placed in isolation, which meant no visitors allowed. I had been recovering at home from my bout with COVID. Four days later, I drove an hour to the hospital to be re-examined (I had COVID pneumonia). After my [...]

The first line in the song "Scars in Heaven" by Casting Crowns cuts me to the core. It is, "If I had only known the last time would be the last time." Despite being in ICU for three weeks, I fully expected Jasmine to recover. I envisioned when we would once [...]

Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom. Psalm 90:12 NLT Good memories produce feelings of warmth and happiness, but those memories become painful when grieving the loss of a loved one. We long for the relationship to be restored, but it can never [...]

In my previous post, I discussed three ways to raise your hand to God when going through painful circumstances, such as losing your wife: Raise an accusative finger, blaming Him for what we perceive as unnecessary pain or unfulfilled promises. Raise an angry fist in His face because we feel He [...]

Jasmine was in the ICU for three weeks when I was told she would never regain consciousness. This was a total shock, and I needed time to process it. I was not ready to “let her go.” Standing beside her the next night, I witnessed her oxygen absorption drop from 92% [...]

One morning, as I was getting ready to visit Jasmine, one of her doctors called and said, “Mr. Isara, the results of the MRI revealed that Jasmine has had several strokes resulting in damage to both sides of her brain.” After a brief discussion to clarify what that meant, the doctor [...]

In an intimate relationship, and there is none more intimate than marriage, whatever is hidden will come to the surface. Jasmine and I had a solid relationship built upon the foundation of our faith in Jesus Christ. But we are all uniquely different from one another, and if we are [...]

Driving the Road to Hana on the northeast coastline of Maui, Hawaii, can be treacherous. There are 617 hairpin turns and fifty-nine one-lane bridges. Carefully navigating this narrow winding road for sixty-four miles creates constant tension for the driver. It is hard to enjoy the tropical scenery while being transfixed on [...]

Many who have lost their spouses are familiar with Nora McInerny’s Ted Talk on moving forward vs. moving on. Her theme is that we do not move on from grief but move forward with it. (If you have not seen it, it is a must. It can be found on YouTube). This [...]